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TOPIC: being polite

being polite 1 month 6 days ago #3692600

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senile1 wrote:

bluegrassmusicfan wrote: ~~~~~~~ >*IF* they do it when i am near the door..it is appreciated.<~~~~~~~~

*IF* I am some 50ft/ 15 meters (or more) away....and they stand there, holding it open, with a look on their face like "hurry up"...then no....please just let go of the door and go on..

I am disabled, and I am not rushing/ hurrying just because you want to be "polite"...

Even worse are the ones who practically **knock you down/ run over you* to get to it to hold it open..
I have said ":hey....you are in that MUCH OF A HURRY...please, do go ahead...I'll wait.."
Then I turn around and piddle with some thing or just stare off into the distance..

Again, If you are already *at* the door, again it is appreciated..



I have spent much of my life working with people with disabilities, and will stand by a door patiently and wait til they reach the door, it's a courtesy, a sign of respect, no more/ no less; accept it with the grace it was offered.


You missed my point...
I don't have to "accept it with grace"...when they stand there tapping their foot and making a face because I'm taking too long to suit them...

If that is their attitude, I'd rather they just go on.

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being polite 1 month 6 days ago #3692603

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bluegrassmusicfan wrote:

senile1 wrote:

bluegrassmusicfan wrote: ~~~~~~~ >*IF* they do it when i am near the door..it is appreciated.<~~~~~~~~

*IF* I am some 50ft/ 15 meters (or more) away....and they stand there, holding it open, with a look on their face like "hurry up"...then no....please just let go of the door and go on..

I am disabled, and I am not rushing/ hurrying just because you want to be "polite"...

Even worse are the ones who practically **knock you down/ run over you* to get to it to hold it open..
I have said ":hey....you are in that MUCH OF A HURRY...please, do go ahead...I'll wait.."
Then I turn around and piddle with some thing or just stare off into the distance..

Again, If you are already *at* the door, again it is appreciated..



I have spent much of my life working with people with disabilities, and will stand by a door patiently and wait til they reach the door, it's a courtesy, a sign of respect, no more/ no less; accept it with the grace it was offered.


You missed my point...
I don't have to "accept it with grace"...when they stand there tapping their foot and making a face because I'm taking too long to suit them...

If that is their attitude, I'd rather they just go on.





In reality ma'am, you do not have to accept anything with "grace", but then, by not accepting with grace, what have you gained ? No ma'am I've not missed your point.

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being polite 1 month 6 days ago #3692605

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I too, and I’m sure most women do, open the door for whoever is behind me…its not a big deal …..no meaning of capable implied :)
The following user(s) said Well Said: bluegrassmusicfan

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being polite 1 month 6 days ago #3692606

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Elizabeth wrote: It is not as unusual as you might think. I know many women feel it is demeaning for a man to be courteous toward a woman, but I think they are in a minority.



Yes, definitely in the minority….

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being polite 1 month 6 days ago #3692611

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senile1 wrote:

bluegrassmusicfan wrote: You missed my point...
I don't have to "accept it with grace"...when they stand there tapping their foot and making a face because I'm taking too long to suit them...

If that is their attitude, I'd rather they just go on.



In reality ma'am, you do not have to accept anything with "grace", but then, by not accepting with grace, what have you gained ? No ma'am I've not missed your point.


I guess we'll have to agree to disagree..
I don't need to be grateful to someone who, while I am still 50-75ft / 15-20 meters away...holds the door...and looks at me with an irritated look on their face of "hurry up you slow poke I ain't got all day.."
THAT is not being polite on their part...
Inconveniencing someone so you can feel good about yourself...that is not "polite".

IF I am right near the door, and someone holds it for me...as I have said numerous times, I very much appreciate it..
But, i don't like to feel rushed, or that i am holding people up...which i CLEARLY am if they have that look on their face..

Peace.

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Last edit: by bluegrassmusicfan.

being polite 1 month 6 days ago #3692612

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Seems to me so much of this is about manners and being gracious--saying thankyou...holding the door regardless of gender/ability..... walking on the road side? That's gone out of fashion here.... guess the need for it died when we all got indoor plumbing. :lol:

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being polite 1 month 6 days ago #3692619

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like most people I hold the door open for anyone coming in behind me or get up to open it for anyone who might have difficulty - ie older, frail, has baby in pram, carrying something etc

Totally not a gender thing though - just courtesy from and to all people.

Cant say I have ever noticed or thought about which side of foot path we are on, whether it is closest to road or not

I don't think that is a good manners thing (well it isnt a thing here at all) - more of a custom in some places thing perhaps.
The following user(s) said Well Said: senile1

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being polite 1 month 6 days ago #3692627

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Old school here .......Guess just last of the romantics....

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being polite 1 month 6 days ago #3692643

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I open the door for anyone, usually. Same with road etiquette but, uh, single file is best.

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“Someone has said that it requires less mental effort to condemn than to think.”

being polite 1 month 6 days ago #3692694

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My husband father,my father in law,was a truly beautiful man, he taught his sons about how to treat ladies,good manners,respect,
My husband is very good mannered,he has taught our son,
The following user(s) said Well Said: brustorm

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